Dear Ministry of Absorption,
After DH stayed up until 2 am to speak with someone in your office, worked tirelessly throughout the next morning and contacted literally nearly every Israeli in the country, we have recently been informed that I will indeed have to get a B1 work visa until I can obtain an A5 permanent residency visa. I apologize for my previous letter in which I may or may not have made reference to a deficiency in logic, although I still stand firm in my opinion at the utter ridiculouslessness in this matter. Unfortunately, I have a much longer journey ahead of me than previously expected so that I may become a resident of your great nation. I am disappointed, but you have not deterred me in my quest to become a citizen.
As per your request for my B1 visa application:
For the application, you need to prepare letters from friends and family that know you as a couple, from your employers, parents, a mutual Bank account, a contract of a flat rented together, photos of the two of you in different places and periods, prints of your phone bills to show that you call each other and so on.
Ha...are you sure? I have eight years of photos, eight years of bills, contracts and bank account statements and no less than 100 people who are ready and willing to inundate your inbox with glowing letters proving the legitimacy of our marriage. And a royally pissed off very Israeli, very protective mother-in-law who is on a mission.
May I make a suggestion? You may want to open a special office to handle the incoming phonecalls/mail/emails/visits from a pissed off mother-in-law for The Bride. Thank you for making this a bit more difficult for me. I love Israel and you made me realize just how much I do.
See ya soon!